April 30, 2012

culture shock.

I'm Canadian. I'm currently living in the USA because my husband is doing the international school thing. It's been weird. Not entirely weird, but there's been some weirdness that has taken place. Mostly it's non-weird, so don't be offended, lovely and delightful Americans. We think you're exceedingly nice. But we're different. And that's okay. So, some things:


1. You have strange traffic lights. They're so much nicer on poles.

2. When I ask where the washroom is, you reply condescendingly, "Well, I don't know what that is, but there's a restroom over there."

3. You don't have a queen. No offence, but... kinda lame, guys. Get on that whole monarchy thing. And yes, I'm aware you fought hard for your independence from the monarchy back in 1777, but you're probably regretting it, because now you're wishing you had better connections with William and Kate. In fact, they were just over at my mum's place for tea last week. 

4. You don't have a queen on your currency. Nor do you have fascinating wild animals on your
currency. Also lame.

5. You say "Good deal" to everything. It's not a good deal. It's just good. There's no deals going on whatsoever! I haven't made a deal with you! arghhhhh

6. I can't spell my name out loud without receiving a look of panicked confusion: "Wait! What is this zed you speak of? Do you mean zee?"

7. You do not sell Tenderflake in your grocery stores. This makes me wonder how anyone anywhere in the US ever makes an acceptable pie crust. Yes, I'm a lard snob.

8. WHY IS THERE HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP IN EVERYTHING?!?? Seriously. Everything. I've taken to eating plain yogurt because all the other yogurt is 2/3 corn syrup. It tastes silly. When we go back to Canada we eat heaps of high fructose corn syrup-free yogurt just because we can. Who woulda thought.

9. American flour is just not working out for me. I'm not a baker extraordinaire or anything, but I like a good scone every now and then. I've tried about 5 different brands of flour -- including the most expensive kind (don't worry, it was big time on sale) -- and they have all failed me. Recipes that were light and fluffy at home are dead in the water here. It's hard on my little baking ego. Sidenote: you do not have the queen on your money, but you have a mythical king on your flour. Hm. 

10. Tetley Tea is the best tea ever. In Canada it's one of the main brands of hot tea. In America it's considered a European delicacy and they sell it for a ridikalis amount of money. And that is very sad.

So a large quantity of these are having to do with food. That may or may not say something about me and my interests. I'll let you decide. But all in all, despite my little complaints, this really has been a lovely place to live. This state we're in is beautiful and huge and has an extraordinary amount of places to explore, the people are friendly and hospitable, but best of all... we're only a short drive from the border. Phew. :)


  1. Audrey FerkranusJune 11, 2012 at 1:00 AM

    So is this why I have not been able to bake anything worth anything for the past 17 years??

    1. I guess we'll have to look into importing flour, eh? :)