I've been going back and forth on the idea of starting a blog for some time now. It's a huge decision apparently, though I'm not sure why. If I had taken this long to decide what to do when my husband proposed... well... hmm.
At first I wanted to start a blog when I became engaged so that I could share all kinds of fun wedding planning activities, but it soon became painfully clear that I detest wedding planning. I figured it probably wouldn't be a good idea to share my thoughts and feelings online in a public place where small children could be exposed to the annoyed rants of an over-weddinged bride-to-be.
Needless to say, the blog didn't happen. The wedding planning did, however (yes, I survived!), and now over a year later, I'm married to a first year seminary student and have moved to a different country and still have this odd little desire to blog. But, like any self-respecting control freak, I had to make some lists to justify it.
Reasons why having a blog is a good idea:
1. I'm terrible at keeping up with my family and friends from home. No really... I'm terrible. Last weekend I finally talked to my cousin on skype after zero contact since October (way to spread the love, Suzanne). So anyway, blogging could be a nice way in which to update people without having to emotionally connect with them. Brilliant.
2. I stalk a lot of people's blogs, most of whom I don't know. It makes me feel slightly creepy. Perhaps having my own corner of the internet would make me feel a little less weird about following the daily adventures of complete strangers.
3. I have a lot of thoughts. Now the quality of these thoughts may or may not be worth writing about, but hey, I'm not making you read this. You came here all by yourself. Getting these thoughts out of my brain and onto paper (um, the screen...) would perhaps bring my mind back into an acceptable state of equilibrium which would benefit both my husband and myself.
4. I like drawing! And I like sharing what I draw. And I don't know how to do that other than through Christmas cards, and if you hadn't noticed, Christmas only comes once a year.
5. I like to write. I've always liked to write. And blogging = writing.
Reasons why having a blog is an awful, destined-to-detroy-me idea:
1. Sarcasm. I'm far too sarcastic. It's a really bad habit. As the saying goes, "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit". This could easily turn into "the true confessions of a sarcastic seminary wife" which would do nothing and help no one and offend everyone. Bad.
2. I have a really bad track record for blogging. This could very well be the last post I write. See failed attempts here and here.
3. I'd have to be open. The thought of being open makes my throat constrict and my palms get sweaty. ew.
4. Blogging will require discipline and commitment. These things scare me, which is weird, since I'm married and have committed the next 60+ years of my life to one man. Commitment and discipline shouldn't be an issue... but my journal, which I'm probably a week behind in, will attest to the fact that I suck at discipline.
5. I should be job searching right now. That being said, I've already spent 3+ hours today job searching and you can only do so much of that a day before you start losing your mind and sinking into the cesspool of inadequacy.
Final verdict: a blog was born.